I have three blogs that I am failing to update with any frequency: this one, which is my personal blog; my web development blog; the blog on my son's website. It's not that I am lacking material for any of those blogs. On the contrary, I feel that there is so much material. What I am lacking in is time. Or at least I believe I am lacking in time. But, I suppose that's a topic for a different blog entry (some day when I have the time).
I had started this blog primarily with the idea that I would capture my emotional state as I traveled this amazing adventure called life. And, truth be told, at that point in time I felt it was necessary to record my struggles so that I wouldn't forget what that whole period of time in my life felt like once I had come out the other side. It was an exercise to keep me honest.
So, in all honesty, I must confess that I'm feeling over committed and have felt this way for quite some time. It seems that I keep passing from one set of (over)commitments to the next. And, being equally honest, I think that I've come to the realization that it's the way I prefer things. That is, I prefer to be overcommitted (or at least believe that I am). I think that I've come to the realization that I prefer to have some challenges if not outright struggles in my life. For, looking over my life I can see a pattern of when things seemed to be too easy I made some decision to completely upend things.
Are things upended enough in my life right now? I think they must be, because it seems that at this point in time I'm actually looking to bring a bit more predictability and stability into my life. I'm looking to get back to some of the things that I used to enjoy doing so much.
For a decent amount of time (I think it was months) I had been getting up at 6:30 every morning so that I could get in exercise before I started my day. I started that new routine when I realized that I had gained too much weight and my clothes really didn't fit me any more. But, now it's been somewhere around three weeks since I've gotten up to exercise in the morning. I definitely want to get back into that routine.
Quite some time ago, I made the choice to bring more balance to my life by not working so incessantly. I've actually done a pretty good job of sticking to that commitment. However, for the past three weeks or so I feel like work has started to creep in too much again (see above paragraph).
I haven't meditated in an extremely long time now. At the moment, I can't imagine getting back to meditating two hours every day again. But, I do think that I need to find some way to get back to within at least striking distance of one hour a day.
I don't have a good direction to take this particular blog entry. As the title states I didn't know where to start. I also don't know where to end. So, I decided to just start anywhere and I suppose I'm going to decide to just end anywhere. At least I'm adding another entry to the blog.
I've got a friend who is registered for IronMan Wisconsin 2013. I encouraged him to start a blog and write every day about his journey to that event, making sure to capture his emotional state. So, this entry is me following my own advice. There, I did it.
I give thanks to the Universe for the abundance it provides me. I surrender and am open and ready to receive.
Bhavatu, sabba, mangalam -- May all beings be happy.