Lana and I really want to have a drug-free, natural childbirth at Mountain Midwifery Center. However, right now our son is in the Frank breech position. We had an ultrasound yesterday that confirmed it. Furthermore, the doctor said that there is not a lot of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby, which means that it is unlikely that the baby will turn (or can be made to turn).

It is possible to have a drug-free, vaginal delivery of a breech baby. But, that is not something that Lana (or I) am comfortable with attempting. So, at the moment we are preparing ourselves for choosing to have a Cesarean delivery. We are also considering having it scheduled for Friday, January 13, 2012. But, first we are planning to try some risk-free methods to encourage our son to turn.

I did some research via Google last night to learn about our options. Last night I sang to Eli and shined a flashlight at the bottom of Lana's uterus. Today Lana went to the accupuncturist to see if she could get relief for the pregnancy related carpal tunnel syndrome she has been experiencing. The accupuncturist also placed some needles at the "breech" points and gave Lana a Moxa stick. I had already indicated to Lana that I want to try Moxabustion, so I was glad to hear that she received the stick. I would also like Lana to try inversion and the "breech tilt."

I don't know if any of these techniques will actually get Eli to turn. But, I want to at least give it a shot. At the same time, I am working on surrendering to the whole process that is unfolding. So, at the moment I am experiencing some anxiety and internal conflict; I am anxious for my son to be healthy and "normal" and feeling the sense of conflict that I am not just completely going with the flow. I have been trying to accept the message that I think the Universe is sending that we are going to be blessed with a son who is different. I'm must scared about what "different" may actually mean.

The one thing that I keep repeating is that I want my son to be healthy. I want him to be able to take care of himself someday.

While I think that in a certain sense it would be extremely funny to go from our original plan of an intervention "free" birth to a scheduled Cesarean (you can't get much more intervention "laden" than that) on Friday the 13th (!), I am still struggling with whether we should still just stand back and let things take their natural course. So, I am looking at this whole experience as a wonderful opportunity that the Universe is providing me to practice non-attachment and acceptance of the fact that life unfolds itself, even if right now I'm just doing my best to "fake it, until I make it." I'm certain that life will present me with abundant opportunities in the coming years to really "make it."

Sigh.

I give thanks to the Universe for the abundance it provides me. I surrender and am open and ready to receive.

Bhavatu, sabba, mangalam. May all beings be happy.